im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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