I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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