ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
