Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
