Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
