i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
3 2 1 whiskey
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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