Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
