im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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