Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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