he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
