no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize