Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
