dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
