So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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