So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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