I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
