is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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