After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
