Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
