The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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