I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
