I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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