so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
