the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
