dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
