i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
