what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
