Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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