i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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