covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
