I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
