I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pooping to opera.
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