I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
