Kiss
Puke
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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