If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
soo... how was my night?
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