dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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