Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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