Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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