it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
