Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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