I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
