i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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