We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
