If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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