Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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