yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
