Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
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The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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