Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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