i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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