I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
