Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
