He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
