She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
