you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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