She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
