But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
