my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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