I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
