Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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