so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
