Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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