Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I pour the whiskey from now on
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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