Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
