can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
